I’ve had an exceptionally testing start of my week. Besides having to rewrite this blogpost three times (here’s looking at you wordpress), I have been booked off work for two days due to an adverse reaction to a makeup item over the weekend. Whenever you are in a place where your body is just not performing as it should, it is always so easy to turn and look at all the moments in which it did and there was not gratitude given for the simple miracle of effortlessly existing. Sitting and looking at the images I had to post today though, I couldn’t help but to feel proud. Not because I am ever going to be a candidate for a Victoria’s Secret campaign, but because even just a year ago, entertaining the idea of a swimwear shoot would’ve been totally out of the question.
You see, like most women who live in this sensationalised social media world, I have had body issues for as long as I can remember. I was more than chubby for most of my youth, and over the years received disheartening comments from both loved ones and strangers about my figure. On the other hand, as far too many girls and women can attest, I have also been subjected to crude and violating comments when wearing something figure flattering. Stuck in this conundrum of being so body conscious, I have definitely been going through an extended period of time in which I cover myself up, feeling like the less I show, the more comfortable I will feel. That was not at all the case, and so when faced with the ‘challenge’ of baring more skin that I thought fathomable, I chose to tackle my insecurities head on.
Now it doesn’t hurt that this particular item of swimwear is a gorgeous black flattering one from NAKD, which made me feel like a million dollars, but you’ll notice that I still couldn’t release my security blanket of my denim jacket just yet. Self growth will only ever come from pushing myself to learn about and accept my flaws, so I will keep doing the best I can every day to make myself more and more comfy with my stretchies and wiggles, and know that treating it with gratitude is the only emotion I should be fueling it with.
My love always,